Writing is a waiting game, no matter what stage of the game you're participating in. I am currently in the "query-go-round" stage, which is akin to hoping you'll be drafted in the first round.
Once you've finally acquired an agent, you move on to the next stage, which is procuring a lucrative book deal. Now you are actually IN the game. After the editor makes your book even more perfect than it was, it goes into production (we'll call this the "playoff" round). Still you wait, because there is nothing instantaneous about book publishing, and it will be months before you can visit your book on the shelves of the local Barnes & Noble. Each stage of the game involves waiting. Waiting is excruciating. Nobody ever says "Hallelujah! I get to WAIT!" I hope to one day give you advice on waiting through the later stages of the publishing process. At this point, all I can talk about with any knowledge is the initial stage. You can spend the waiting time by clicking on "Check Mail" so much that your email provider actually re-designs the program and ELIMINATES that feature (I'm sure it's coincidence that Hotmail did that, but I managed to foil their evil plan and find a workaround). No matter what, waiting will never be completely bearable, so here are some things I've come up with to distract you from the waiting game. The best part is they even qualify as a productive use of your time, so you don't have to feel guilty for not writing (because they're writing-related). 1. Write the dedication and the acknowledgment pages for your book. These can actually change, day to day, based on who has irritated you ("you are SO out of my book after that snarky comment") or inspired you ("I'm moving them up to the THIRD paragraph of the dedication since they let me turn left in front of all that traffic"). 2. Figure out the casting for the movie version. Even if you don't get casting approval, at some point you will be asked "so who did you envision playing so-and-so?" If you've already thought this through, you won't have to fumble around for an answer while on live TV. Plus it's really fun to fantasize about plan those intimate meetings to discuss "character motivation" with the hunky actor playing the part. 3. Write your Oscar acceptance speech. This is a synopsis of the people who deserve to be thanked (you don't want to be chided for leaving out Someone Important), and a chance to say "this wouldn't be possible if I hadn't written a really kick-ass book". 4. Plan your outfits for your personal appearances. You know this isn't something to be left to the last minute. Nobody needs a wardrobe malfunction to upstage what a great book you've unleashed on the world. 5. Write cover blurbs for your friends' books. This will give you practice writing succinct, pithy bon mots, and it will also generate good karma for when you need reciprocity for your books. If you don't have friends who write, practice writing succinct, pithy mal mots for those books that made you wonder how the author got published before you did. Just make sure you sprinkle some "bad karma repellant" around first. 6. Prepare for your Oprah interview. You know you won't jump up and down on her couch, but you might get a little sniffly describing the long waiting game that is known as publishing. So rehearse what you'll say, and practice being modest. 7. Write some questions for book clubs. Of course people will select your book for their monthly meeting. This is the book they've been waiting for, the one that makes slogging through all those other gatherings worthwhile. Plus you can steer them towards those passages that you really love, and that deserve a little extra love and attention. 8. Outline your "How to Get Published" book. You've learned a lot about writing, and waiting. Once you're a best-selling author, you may not have time to write this book, so do it now, while it's fresh in your mind. I'm sure you can come up with other great ideas for staying sane while waiting. Feel free to share them!
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