I heard a Stevie Wonder song the other day, one I've heard a million times – Superstition – and one line hit me in a different way than all the other times I listened to it:
"When you believe in things that you don't understand"
I realized that can apply not only to superstition, but to faith. Superstition is clearly fear-based, while faith is hope-based. I have a tendency to use both, since the primitive part of my brain is fairly well-entrenched, and I figure it can't hurt to knock on wood or wish upon a star to placate any entity willing to help me out.
Writing is definitely an act of faith, one that borders on hubris. Here I am creating something that has not existed before, and I do this with the belief that it is worthwhile and worth the effort. It feels like magic sometimes, because I'm watching something materialize in my brain that doesn't have a physical form until I start tapping on my keyboard. Once it does appear, I have to draw on my faith that I can take this vague-ish idea and form it into a cohesive, entertaining story. Readers have faith in me to give them an emotional experience with the words I put together in the way only I can.
However, faith is not something that you acquire once and then you're set for life. If only.
A lot of things I write show up mere seconds before "I'm not sure this is going to work" shoots through my mind. But I choose to believe it will, even when there's no guarantee. I've learned those crazy-ass ideas are the ones I want to pursue because, more times than not, they work in an even more spectacular fashion than the "normal" or "safe" things do.
My faith has a tendency to ebb during the final stretch of the revision process. After many hours and days chipping away the rough edges, and smoothing over boo boos that weren't visible before you started making improvements. . .the finish line keeps getting farther and farther away. That's when faith starts to flicker like a light bulb ready to stop shining forever. You're exhausted and dispirited and convinced you've finally met the challenge that was meant to annihilate you all along. You'll have nothing to show for your efforts but a mass of broken paragraphs and massacred scenes that used to be a decent first draft, all of it covered with your blood, sweat and tears.
And yet. . .somehow it always works out. It's the result of "believing in something you don't understand". Maybe this is part of the process, breaking things down until the fear can no longer touch you. Now, while you're in a more humble state, you can see what it was you wanted to do with this story. Having a crisis of faith is actually what restores your belief. It bolsters you for the next time you falter and want to give up.
Faith is what made you start writing the story, when nobody but you thought it was possible you could write. Faith will get you through the process, because you know how much you want to create this story, no matter how many obstacles you encounter.
Faith keeps growing with each word you write.
Very true! Faith, belief and perspective. They really do work as dance partners to get us through to that final slow dance!
Posted by: Maureen | February 07, 2011 at 12:22 AM
It's nice to think of it as a dance, isn't it? :)
Posted by: Donna Cummings | February 07, 2011 at 08:53 AM
I remember high school dances and sitting there watching everyone else dance... Well, it felt like everyone else was dancing while I wasn't... It's a sad and lost feeling. I do like how nowadays they just dance, partner or not!
It was my junior year, last dance of the basketball season...and the man who I married years later asked me to dance. One dance, and then I didn't see him until my senior year.
Hmmmm...great set up, ain't it!?
Posted by: Maureen | February 07, 2011 at 12:41 PM
LOL -- I'm not sure how we went from faith and superstition to dancing. . .but I'm with you, I like that everyone just dances with whoever they want nowadays. When I was with fellow agent-mates at the Crime Bake conference last fall, there were usually about five of us dancing at once--usually one male and the rest females. It was great. Or we'd dance with other females--something that would have been shocking years ago.
That IS an interesting setup about you and your hubby. :)
Posted by: Donna Cummings | February 07, 2011 at 01:02 PM
What an ispirational post. Sometimes I wonder if I'm blindly hurling myself into this writing thing. You are right, somewhere in my soul, I have faith that it's the right thing and that the story can be sculpted into something I can be proud of.
Posted by: Kari Marie | February 07, 2011 at 08:54 PM
Kari Marie, I'm so glad you found this inspirational. :)
I spent most of today wandering blindly, convinced I was wasting hours that could have been spent with something fun. LOL Finally, just as I closed out the document, hoping I could work it out tomorrow, a new scene sprang forth into my mind--exactly the one I was trying to create.
So it may be tough sometimes, but it's worth it. :)
Posted by: Donna Cummings | February 07, 2011 at 09:18 PM
'Cause you gotta have faith-de-faith-de-faith, you gotta have faith....
Sorry, having an 80s moment. Love the pep talk though. I very much needed it. Thanks, Donna!
Posted by: Hellion | February 07, 2011 at 10:39 PM
This is definitely an inspiring blog. I couldn't live without faith. Hellie doesn't call me Pollyanna for nothing. LOL! It's a complete cliche and cheesy as all get out, but that Annie song is true. The sun will come out tomorrow and things will get better. They may suck for now, but they will get better, if you believe and keep going.
I like the idea of writing the book being magical. I have written a book, an entire story, that didn't exist before. Wow, that's a powerful thought. And a lovely one too!
Posted by: Terri Osburn | February 07, 2011 at 10:41 PM
LOL, Hellion -- that might have been a better title. I wish I'd thought of it! And I've been having some nostalgia for the 80s lately. Sigh.
Glad you enjoyed the post. It was kind of a pep talk for me, so I'm glad it resonated with otheres too. :)
Posted by: Donna Cummings | February 08, 2011 at 09:10 AM
Thanks, Terri. One thing I've learned is how much different things are the next morning, after a craptastic day. I definitely have faith in that. :)
It is kind of powerful to remember we're creating something that has no form outside of our brains. It helps to think of that on the days when we're struggling, thinking it's hard because we're not competent. But that's not true. We're moving something from one sphere into another, from ephemeral to concrete. That's hard work!
Posted by: Donna Cummings | February 08, 2011 at 09:13 AM
Keep the faith! Faith in your story, abilities, determination. Sometimes I think faith is what drives us too.
Posted by: Liz Fichera | February 10, 2011 at 06:55 AM
Liz, faith does keep us going, doesn't it? Although I wish we could just go to the warehouse store and get a super-size container of it. LOL
Posted by: Donna Cummings | February 10, 2011 at 08:57 AM